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As much as being a business related post, this is also very much a personal post. It’s something that I’ve been through time and time again, and am still learning how to do. Don’t publish negative content, ever. No exceptions, don’t do it. Want to know why? Read on! And don’t be a fickle skim-reader – this is a really important article.
How To Kill Your Reputation In 5 Simple Steps
- Publish a blog post vehemently disagreeing with another blogger
- Leave a comment on an article that you disagree with telling the author he’s an idiot
- Tell someone on Twitter that you’ve never seen a tweet that’s quite THAT meaningless before
- Start, and continue to fuel an argument on a forum when someone disagrees with you
- Get into flame wars where you just keep going back and forth with someone in a big pointless argument
So now you’re probably thinking “yeah right, who would do those things – that’s suicide!” but can you honestly look at that list and tell me that you haven’t done at least 2 out of the 5? I have, I’ve done all 5 – more than once.
Why Negativity Will Get You Nowhere
This really boils down to logic, but it’s something that we all seem to forget about on a regular basis. When sitting in a pub with a group of friends, how likely are you to absolutely tear down someone for making a statement that you know to be incorrect? Not very likely, I hope. Now put you behind a little screen with access to the internet, and you, the very same person, become a keyboard warrior.
It doesn’t matter if you’re rude, right? Cause no one knows who you really are, and anyway, what the hell do you care if some idiot who clearly doesn’t have an ounce of intelligence “doesn’t like you”? Life goes on!
Incorrect.
Why is it, that when faced with a convenient divide of a computer screen, we often lose all shreds of common decency and turn into ego fueled idiots? And do you really think you’re still anonymous in this day and age on the internet? I’ve got news for you, you’re not.
Putting negativity out there into the world (or in this case, the web) will only bring the exact same thing right back to you. Call it Karma if you want, I call it common sense.
Learn From My Mistakes
I want to share a story with you here to outline the point I’m trying to make.
Last year I was going through my RSS feeds when I noticed an article by a top SEO blogger, talking about an amazing track driving experience that he, and some other bloggers went on. The article was full of dubious, keyword heavy links, all going back to the company who operated the track. Having worked in the SEO industry for a number of years this screamed “paid link spam” at me, especially when I visited the blogs of the other people who went to the event and found that they’d all written near identical posts with the same trashy links going back to the supplier.
So I wrote a blog post titled “How To Ruin Your SEO Blog”, and published all my reasons for calling out this spam content. Oh, and I didn’t “sugar coat” it.
Half an hour later I had a flame war going on in my comments, all of the bloggers were there defending themselves and attacking me for attacking them. Another hour down the line one of the bloggers had written a post titled “John O’Nolan of [Employer Name] Is a Sad Angry Little Man” – and guess what? It instantly ranked number 1 in Google for both my name, and my employer’s company name. Bad news.
To cut a long story short, I got one of “the big boys” on the phone and we talked it through – egos so prominent in my comments section suddenly vanished and we were both able to be rational human beings. He insisted that I’d gotten the wrong idea, and I conceded that I had no real evidence to support my claims. We both took down the offending posts, and nothing more came of it.
Thankfully, I just about rescued that bridge before it was fully burnt down. However, the underlying fact remains that I published negative content, and it came right back to bite me in the rear. This is just one example of many of failed judgment calls on my part. Being young and hot headed sometimes, I still have to reign myself in every now and then. The good part is, I’m aware of it, and I’m constantly working on improving upon it.
Are you?
The Flip-side of The Coin
In closing, I’d like to really highlight and showcase the effect of doing the opposite to what I’ve talked about so far, being friendly, positive, and constructive – always. I can’t think of any better example to give you than my good friend, and insanely talented developer: Japh.
Japh is one of the very few people I’ve met in my life, who never has a bad word to say about anyone. If you need help with something, he makes time for you – it doesn’t matter if you know him or not, just ask him on twitter – I guarantee you he’ll reply.
In addition to that, if you ever disagree with something he says then you can go ahead and tell him – he listens, he replies and he’s genuinely interested in your point of view. Take a recent example where Paul Boag posted on AudioBoo about the whole recent IE6Update saga:
Japh didn’t agree with him, so he posted an AudioBoo reply that was insightful, and made some really good points. The result? Japh was featured twice on the following BoagWorld podcast which goes out to thousands of designers and developers every week.
If only I’d been that clever I’d have been featured myself and completed one of my 2009 goals!
As if that wasn’t enough, to that very same AudioBoo, Japh got this reply from some random guy from South London. You have to click that play button – you will not believe your ears. (Warning: Very strong language)
Now if that had been me, I most likely would have told the guy to take a long, hard look in the oven – and stick his head in it. Which would in turn have led to some very nonconstructive banter – but Japh? He just posted a simple, short comment, suggesting that that the person in question offered him some more constructive feedback.
Now I won’t go as far as to rename Japh: “Jesus2.0″ – but we could all learn a lot from him.
In Summary
Don’t be negative, don’t do it! That doesn’t mean you can’t disagree with someone, but do it how Japh does it, and not how I used to do it.
Did You Like This Post?
I totally diagree with you.
Nah just kiddig ;> It coulden make more sens, good article.
John — You really need to stop writing these ridiculously stupid blog posts. How about an article that’s actually useful for once?!?
lmao – thanks Tony! :P
Haha. Typical Onwired guys so negative. :P I kid I kid.
Great article! Very true. Your example really hit home as well.
Really great reflective post, John. I’m flattered to have featured in it too! I do usually try to keep a level head about me, but I’ve had my share of not so well thought out responses too ;)
hahaha that last guy is fantastic! I’m assuming he somehow randomly came across Japh’s post and obviously had nothing better to do with his time.
Oh what a crap article you stupid author! Haha.
JUst kidding, nice article, agree with everything you said, I think we have all made mistakes with negative articles/comments but as long as we can learn from them and move on it’s all good.
Nice article John.
Good article John, the internet is very VERY unforgiving of those wee slip-ups where we let our emotions get the best of us and we write exactly what we think at the time.
This is not a problem in the real world as its a moment in time that fades away, but in the virtual world it is archived, copied, commented on and searchable by everybody including clients!
My tip is whether your writing an email to a problem client, posting on a forum and the most dangerous of all tweeting on Twitter, is to write what you want to send, then before sending it ‘out there’ take a breather! – go make a coffee, walk the dog, feed the fish, than come back and review what you have written with a cool head.
That way you can save yourself a whole lot of trouble!
On a funnier side this is an amusing take of how quickly ‘Flame Wars’ start from Collage Humour: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
Hi John,
Note on usability on your comments. I can not see the order of the comments. Since now they all have the same date. So which is first (or last)? So for usability i would suggest a number or the time.
cheers,
joe
Hi Joe, thanks so much for pointing that out – I’ve got a new design coming in the next month or so and I’ll make sure that issue is addressed! But just for the record the first is at the top and the last (most recent) is always at the bottom :)
I remember a couple of ‘flame-grilled’ debates with you a while ago on a forum – but we sorted that out quickly enough (I hope!) with some editing of posts after talking it through.
I like this article and think it’s great advice – what I try to do when someone comes in from left field and gets a bit personal (rather than debating the issue) is:
1. Ignore the inflammatory stuff completely
2. Don’t retaliate in any way
3. Get right back onto the topic in hand and follow-up by citing independent/ respected sources.
Of course, it’s harder said than done! I’m totally gob-smacked at that last AudioBoo – reminds me of Micheal Caine’s irrational/ out-there loathing of the Dutch in Goldmember – totally random!
I can honestly say I have never experienced ‘internet rage’, I guess I was born kinda zen-like hehe :-)
I hadn’t heard that guy’s response to Japh’s AudioBoo til just now. What an amazing ineffective and internet-badboy spiel! Wonderful example for your post and your advice.
I’m pretty sure the guy responding to Japh was none other that Christian Bale.
You’re an idiot.
Just kidding! …It was a good article. And a good reminder for someone like me: fast-fingered, a sense of humor dripping with sarcasm and a venomous tongue. I believe I could start a flame war on the hour, every hour, if needed. Now if only I could come up with a design to use it for good and bring some extra cheddar in the family door?
Hmmmmmmmmm….
Very insightful and thought provoking. Great example too!
Man, this is an epic ballancing act. You want to disagree with authors when they publish content that is wrong but you don’t want to make yourself out to be a total arse hole.
I like to think I can be quite restrained but I am guilty of being baited into arguments online on occasion. I don’t particularly like doing it but it all depands on how strongly I feel about the post in question.
I’ve been a member/moderator on a few web design forums for years now and have settled into the role of Simon Cowell when it comes to critiquing members’ sites. This is a stance that most members appreciate. I’m direct and I don’t sugar-coat things and I think that is beneficial. You do get the odd member, however who thinks I’m personally insulting them and proceeds to start a flame-war with me.. or at least attempts to. To them I simply say “That’s my advice, take it or leave it.” and post no further comments.
Negativity lies, largely in the eye of the beholder, though. Look at the recent spat between Sam Brown and Ryan Carson. Sam spotted a UX and accessibility flaw with the new 37 signals site and blogged it, along with a solution in a light-hearted, funny way. Ryan Carson, upon seeing this proceeded to go on the war-path on thinkvitamin.com calling the comments “smug” and “elitist” – an over-reaction to say the least.
Goes to show, you can’t please everyone.
Thanks for commenting :)
It is a big balancing act for sure, and yeah even the “big boys” knock heads on a pretty regular basis as you mentioned.
You’re absolutely right — a post on the topic from a different point of view: “Is Being Nice an Unfair Advantage for SEO?”
Venomous comments can start a lively discussion and bring traffic, and I guess many of us enjoy razor-like wit at a distance, but you’ve got to wonder how potential clients respond to it. I figure they imagine what it would be like to work with a hot-headed designer and go elsewhere.
Glad you see the connection between negativity and ego. It’s a good article you’ve written and good advice.
I’ve been guilty of being aggressive and engaging in flame wars (several years ago I was an angrier person and a lot more negative than what I am now). But over the last couple of years I’ve done more to become more positive and less aggressive, and consequently I’ve stayed out of flame wars etc most of the time.
It’s important that people realise that others are entitled to their opinion. They are also entitled to voice their opinion online without being ripped to pieces for it. It’s also important that folks realise that opinions shouldn’t be taken personally. It’s the facts that should be taken more seriously. Two excellent books on the subject of ego, opinions and negativity, and how they can be dealt with: A Voice of Knowledge (Miguel Ruiz) and The Power of Now (Eckhart Tolle).
So, remember the disagreement we had on Twitter where you blocked me? :p
Looking forward to seeing your new design.
You’re so right. I am trying hard to ensure that I am not negative in my actions online (and off). If I have a grouch then I either take ten and a nice bar of chocolate or write about it somewhere where no-one will ever see it – writing is very cathartic for me.
Well written post
Liked your post. It is summed up nicely in this facebook status: http://imgur.com/6zjNO.jpg